Mashtale

                                     ~Of Heroes and Pantaloons</b>~


“…shua.” He batted away at whatever it was nudging at his side. He was so tired, and whatever wanted his attention would just have to wait –

“Joshua!” The gentle nudging turned into a full fledged shake, and with a slight moan, the blond forced his eyes open, instantly being met with the dark green eyes of his best friend.

“-atthew, what do you want?” He mumbled, wiping the sleep from his eyes. Forcing himself up, he looked at the surroundings. “What? Where are we?”

“Dunno. Last I remember is goin’ into the hotel room, then I woke up here and you were still passed out.” He knelt closer to the younger, “speaking of which, you feelin’ ok?”

Joshua quickly looked himself over. “Yeah. . . I think so.” Suddenly the brunette grabbed his arm and pulled Josh closer, who let out a squeak at the sudden intrusion. “W-what are you doing?!”

“I’m making sure. Now shut up and be good.” Matthew couldn’t help but smirk as his friend attempted to glare at him, instead managing an adorable little pout. He quickly finished his inspection, satisfied with the results. “There, all done.” He let go of the blond’s arm, helping him to his feet. “You okay to walk?”

“Yes, Matthew!! I said I’m fine!”

“Alright, alright! Sorry!” He ruffled up the shorter’s hair before moving forward. “Come on, let’s get going.”

“B-but we don’t even know where we are!”

“And we’re not gonna find out if we just stay here, now are we?” Matthew said no more as he simply gripped Joshua’s sleeve and led the blond behind him.

                                                        ~*~

“Ahhh!! Matthew!! Help!! It’s got me!!!” He squealed, attempting to pull free. Matthew, panic stricken, ran back and was ready to defend –

“. . .Your kidding, right?” The brunette cocked an eyebrow, not really sure how to respond properly. Joshua had managed to get his sleeve (at first) tangled in his some brambles, and thanks to his struggling, it had spread to most of his arm.

“Matthew?! Get it off!! It’s pulling me in!!” Tears began to well at the corner of the blond’s eyes, his friend just shaking his head in defeat.

“Joshua. . .It’s a PLANT! You’re only tangled cuz you won’t stop moving! Now settle down!!” For once he listened, and Matt began freeing his friend from his ‘attacker’, cursing everytime the thorns pricked his fingers.

Finally Joshua was free, and he couldn’t help but notice all the tears in his gloves -dammit! Joshua’s so buying me a new pair! - when his attention was brought back to the younger with a sharp whine.

“My shirt’s all torn. . .”

“Well what did you expect!!!”

“I liked this shirt. . . .”

“Whatever. Let’s go.” Matthew sighed, continuing on, ignoring the protests from his partner.

A long silence followed as Matthew continued to lead his friend around, completely sure of where he was going. Totally. Maybe. Okay, not at all.

“Matthew, I think we’re lost!” Joshua whined, absently playing with the hem of his shirt. “I wanna get outta here before dark!”

“We’re not lost. Relax a little-”

“But I swear we’re goin’ in circles!”

“This coming from the one who gets lost in his own house . . . You really think you’d know the way to go?” The brunette scoffed, continuing on in what seemed like the right direction.

“. . . .You don’t hafta be mean. . .”

“No. I don’t have to be. I choose to be-”

“Ha! Look! We are going in circles!!” The younger pointed to a thorny bush, one that was littered with little scraps of blue cloth. Pieces of his now tattered shirt.

“. . .Crap!”

“Told you!!” Joshua stuck his tongue out, looking every bit like a child. That is until Matthew grabbed it. “Awwo. . . ley gu!!! Ahhyew!!”

“What’s that Joshua? I can’t understand you with your tongue hangin’ out like that.”

“Uew a jek!” Joshua bit down hard, hoping to hit Matt’s fingertips, only to have them move away at the last second and bite down hard on his own tongue. “OWW!! What the hell’s ur problem?!”

“. . . Not my fault you make it too easy. . .”

“Why does everyone say that?” Joshua cocked his head slightly to the side, utterly confused.

“I’m not even going there. Come on, let’s keep going.”

“Go where? You brought us right back to where we started!! We’ve wasted almost a whole day, and now it’s getting dark!!”

“So what if it gets – oh, right! Ur not gonna wanna travel in the dark, are ya?” The blond shook his head frantically in response. “Alright then, lets at least find us a better spot to rest, kay?”

Within minutes the last of the sun became hidden by the blanket of trees, and darkness fell beside them. A soft whimper sounded, and suddenly Matt’s arm was in a tight (and almost painful) grip as Joshua moved right in, shutting his eyes tightly, shaking slightly.

“It’s ok, Joshua, calm down. There’s nothing to be afraid of. There’s not even any animals out here!” He attempted to relieve his friend’s fears, with little effect. Waitaminnit. . .we haven’t come across any animals or anything and we’ve been out here for hours. This makes no sense. . .

He decided to keep his thoughts to himself - no point in freaking Joshua further -  but all was quickly forgotten as he came across a clearing, and led Joshua over to it, finally managing to pry him off of his arm.

“Joshua, I’ll be right back. I just gotta go get-”

“No!”

“-some firewood. . . I’ll only be gone a few minutes. And when I come back I’ll light a fire then it won’t be so dark, kay?”

“B-but!”

“You’ll be fine! Glowy’ll keep ya company til I’m back!!” And with that he was off, leaving Joshua all alone.

                                                        ~*~

Snap!

Joshua pulled his knees to his chest and shoved his back against the tree trunk as hard as he could manage, trying to make himself as small as possible. Whatever it was that stepped on the branch was working it’s way over towards where he was.

At first he had thought it to be Matt returning, but the footsteps were slow, refined, almost dainty. Definitely not Matthew.

It seemed like an eternity passed with each footstep that fell, that whatever it was, was simply toying with him. Having  some fun before finishing him off.

Joshua became terribly aware of his breathing, almost panicking at how loud it sounded -  No nononono…shut up!! It’ll find you if you don’t shut up! – his mind screaming at him.

That was no longer a problem as he stopped breathing completely, turning his head to the side to look at the hand that had grabbed his shoulder.

“I finally found you!”

He wasn’t aware of the scream that escaped his lips.

~*~

Geez. . .you think in a forest that wood would be easier to find. But Noooooo.

As hard as it had been, Matthew had managed to gather a full armload of firewood – should be enough to keep it going until morning- and had almost finished the trek back to their campsite.

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!”

“Joshua!!” The brunette immediately dropped his loot and sprinted off in the direction of the scream. Fuck what was I thinking leaving him alone please please please for the love of god be alright. Just let it be a spider or something!!

He couldn’t have imagined anything worse when he finally got close enough to see a dark figure struggling with Joshua.

                                                         ~*~

“Let Me GO!” The Blond tried to pull his arm away, but to no avail. The stranger had a strong yet gentle grip on his arm.

“Princess! What’s the matter?”

“LET THE FUCK GO OF HIM!!!” Matthew slammed hard into the intruder, knocking him out cold, and quickly went over to Josh. “You okay? Did he do anything to you?”
“Matthew!!” Joshua threw his arms around his friend, burying his own head in the latter’s chest.

“Sokay. I’m here. But we gotta leave quick. Don’t know how long he’s gonna be down for.”

As though on cue the figure moaned, just beginning to come back to consciousness. Without a second thought Matt grabbed him by the wrist and sprinted off, practically dragging the younger with him, wanting to get both of them away as quickly as possible.

                                                       ~*~

He forced himself to run faster, pulling Josh along who was panting and constantly stumbling. They had long since gotten out of range of whoever that was, but shortly after, Matthew picked up on something strange. He felt as though they were being watched, and followed, by something else.

And if there’s no thing he’s learned, it’s to always trust his senses.

“Matthew! Slow down!!” the blond yelled as he stumbled again, Matt being the only thing from keeping him off the ground. “We’re far enough away!”

“Trust me! Keep going!”

“No! I’m exhausted, and we can’t see where we’re going! Stop being so paranoid!” At that, Joshua pulled his arm hard, just managing to release it from the death grip his friend had on it, and came to a halt.

“Joshua! Come-”

“NO!! Not until you tell me what’s going on!”

“SHIT! Look out!” Matthew jumped in front of him, quickly shoving him off the side and out of harms way. The next thing he was aware of was a crippling pain shocking forth throughout his body, and a bloodcurdling scream escaping from his own lips.

He couldn’t tell who had hit him, or with what exactly. It kinda reminded him of lightning, only black. He looked over at his friend – good…he’s safe – and immediately crumpled to the ground, unmoving.

“Matthew?!” The blond quickly picked himself up and rushed to his friends side, not sure of what he could actually do, or if he was even alive for that matter. His only concern was helping him, which would explain why he didn’t see the cloaked figure jump down and grab him until it was too late. . .


                                                       ~*~

He forced his eyes open, only too fully aware of the pain wracking through his body. Fuck. . . what the hell happened? And where’s Josh- The memories of last night came flooding back to him, and he forced himself to his feet, even though his mind screamed at him to do otherwise.

“JOSHUA!!!” He yelled as loud as was possible, hoping to get some kind of response. Hoping that his friend had simply wandered rather than. . .

Bad Matthew! Don’t think about that! He’s fine! Probably just got himself tied up in another bush!! Yeah, that’s all!! Haha. .

He shouted again. Nothing. And again. Still nothing.

Fuck fuck fuck! Ok…Calm down Matthew. . panicking’s not gonna solve anything. Just Calm Down!

He forced himself to do so, and suddenly heard gentle footsteps behind him. He twirled around “Joshua!! You had me worr-?” He stopped dead when the tip of a rapier grazed over his neck…

It was the man from before. The first attack. Though now that it wasn’t dark, Matthew could get actually get a good look at him. He had short black hair that was slicked back, and piercing brown eyes, and he could tell the man was a fair bit older than him. And his clothing. . .

Matthew would have burst out in tears laughing if he wasn’t staring down the end of a blade. Bright red puffy clothes. Like something out of a fairytale.

“What did you do with her?” He demanded, holding the blade steady.

“Easy buddy. Just calm down. I have no idea what you’re talking about.” He put his hands in front of him, and took a step back, only to have the other move with him, blade remaining by his neck.

“Don’t play daft! You took her away from me earlier after attacking me. I demand to know what you did with the Princess!”

Oh for the love of. . . .

“Are you talking about the blond one? Thin, kinda whiney, about ‘yey high?” The brunette lifted his hand to what he guessed Joshua’s height to be.

“Ah ha! So you do know her!!”

Despite the situation, Matthew couldn’t help but laugh, loudly. “You’ve got it all wrong! That ain’t no Princess, that’s my friend, Joshua. My guy friend. So sorry, but I haven’t seen this ‘Princess’ you speak of.”

The princely-type-guy’s expression darkened, and Matt felt the tip move a little closer. “You can’t actually expect me to believe a lie that ridiculous, can you? Do you have any idea who you’re dealing with? I’m Prince Percival of the Kingdom of Fanaria!”

“That’s great for you, but I can prove that wasn’t your Princess!” He slowly moved his hand towards his pocket, being careful not to provoke the Prince in anyway, since he himself was clearly at the disadvantage right now.

He pulled a folded piece of paper out of his pants, and passed to the other.

“What is this?”

“It’s a picture. Take a look.”

He cocked an eyebrow “A…picture?” He warily took the offered paper, and unfolded it. It was a picture of Matt and Josh together. “Ah. A portrait. But why show me this?”

“Look here.” Matthew pointed to Josh. “Is that the Princess you saw me with last night?”

“That’s her! But why do you have this?”

“Because that’s a ‘portrait’ of me and my friend. He’s a guy. See the lack of boobs?”

Percival, without a word, folded the picture back up and handed it back to Matthew. “I apologize for the intrusion, though I must say they look quite similar.” He resheathed his rapier and began heading off.

“Pantaloons! Wait! Was yer Princess kidnapped? If Josh apparently looks like her, do you think he might’ve been nabbed to?” The brunette quickly caught up with the other, changing his pace to match.

“It’s Percival. Percival! And yes, the evil wizard kidnapped her. Though I suppose he could’ve make the same mistake as myself, and took your friend away. . .”

“That settles it then! I’m going with you! Lead the way Pantaloons!” Matthew smacked his back as a friendly gesture, causing the Prince to stumble.

The prince muttered to himself. “What did I do to deserve this?”

                                                       ~*~

Joshua sat in the corner of the small room, head buried into his knees. He was tired, cold, alone, and worst of all he didn’t even know if Matt was alive. That man had grabbed him before he had even fully reached his friend.

Matthew. . . . .

He felt tears welling up in his eyes, letting them slowly fall down his face. His friend was dead and it was all his fault!

He sat there in silence, when eventually he could he voices approaching.

“Ow! Stop that you little brat!”

“Oh I’m sorry! I didn’t realize that I was supposed to cooperate, considering you have me here against my will! Is this better? ‘Oh no, Mister Evil Guy!! Please let me go! I’m just sooo innocent and helpless!”

“You’re a Princess! Act like it!”

“And why should I? Just to make your life easier? No thanks.”

At this point Josh’s curiosity was getting the better of him (yet again), and while he still remained in the same spot, he had lifted his head up, already forgetting about his tears.

Within moments he heard a lock turn, and the door swung open loudly and quickly.

“Just get in here! And nice attempt with the double. Would’ve worked if you didn’t sneak in here afterwards. . .”

The cloaked guy threw a girl to the cell floor. She had short blonde hair, blue eyes, pale skin, and was wearing a blue sleeveless shirt, with black leggings and a navy skirt.

“What are you talking about!?” She picked herself off the floor and charged at the man, but unfortunately he had the door slammed and locked again. She was trapped.

That’s when she noticed the child crunched in the corner. Obviously scared.

She kinda looks like me. . .Could that be what the idiot was talking about?

She moved closer to her, slowly. “Are you ok?” Upon closer inspection, she realized that she wasn’t a girl after all. Never before had she seen just a beautiful boy!

Poor thing got caught up in all this. . .

His eyes locked with hers, and she could see just how upset he really was. He had the eyes of a child, wide and innocent. She guessed he was around fifteen, maybe sixteen years tops.

“Sweetie, what’s wrong?” She knelt beside me and gently placed her hand on his shoulder.

Joshua didn’t understand why, but she felt safe around him, and before he knew it he wrapped his arms around her and let it all out, explaining everything that had happened.

                                                    ~*~

“So, what’s this evil wizard guy’s name?” Matthew walked beside his new comrade, arms linked behind his head casually. Unfortunately for the Prince, the only way Matthew could prevent himself from imagining the worst was to ask questions nonstop.

“He’s known as the Evil Wizard Stalanos.”

“Stalanos? That’s a weird name. Kinda sounds like Stan.” The brunette mused, not even thinking about what was coming out of his mouth. “And what does he look like?”

“I have never actually seen him.”

“Why the hell not? You said he nabbed the girl, you musta seen it!!”

“. . . I was not present during the time of her abduction.”

“Then how do you know she was snatched?”

“Because the Evil Wizard Stalanos gave us warning of this.” You’ve slain dragons Percival. You can handle this-

“Doesn’t mean he did it-“

“ENOUGH!!”

“Woah! Very un-prince-like Pantaloons!”

“You are wearing thin on my last nerve!”

“Sor-ry! But seriously, if you’ve never seen the guy, then how are you gonna know it’s him when you see him.

“. . . . . . . . .”

“Ah come on! Don’t be like that!”

“. . . . . . . . .”

“Fine! I can take a hint!” If there’s one thing that’s ever been proven, it’s that Matthew couldn’t. “So where we goin’ anyway?”

“To his lair.”

“You ever notice how bad guys always have lairs? Never houses, or cottages, or shacks! I wanna see an evil shack-“

“WOULD YOU SHUT-UP!! YOU ARE INSUFFERABLE!!”

“Thank you! And how do you know where it is anyway?”

“Father has Fanarian spies everywhere.”

“So you know where Sinister Stan is?”

“Who?”

“The evil dude. His name’s way too long, so I gave him a new one. Easier to remember, instills fear-” He kept rambling, but the Prince was no longer listening.

Heavens help me. . .

                                                       ~*~

During his previous ‘episode’, the Princess had learned a great deal about Josh. He told her everything he knew, and answered all questions. And while she was intrigued by this child, the fact she found most interesting was that he was nineteen. She couldn’t get over how young he looked and acted.

She felt responsible for getting him dragged into this (even though it in no way was), so she vowed to get him out of here and reunite him with his friend no matter what.

She walked over to where he was sleeping – poor thing cried himself to sleep – and shook him awake gently.

“Joshua, sweetie, wake up.” He stirred awake and sat himself up. “I’m gonna get us out of here, but I might need your help with some things. Are you up for it?”

He thought about it for a moment, and nodded. “Umm…what’s your name?”

“Where are my manners? My real name’s too long and fancy for my tastes, so you can call me Cel. And I’m twenty-six in case your wondering.”

“Ok! Umm…so what should I do?”

“Just follow me, and I’ll let you know if I need ya to do anything, ok?”

He nodded his head eagerly, wanting nothing more than to get out of this place. He watched as Cel knelt beside the door, sticking a little wire into the key slot, moving it around.

Within seconds there was an audible click and she silently swung the door open.

“Alright, now follow me, but you need to keep quiet.”

“Ok.” He did just that, the only sound coming from him was the soft tapping of his steps.

“Wait here.” Cel whispered to Josh, before quickly ducking into the side room. All that Josh could hear was a loud whacking noise, and the sound of metal clattering. Shortly after she returned, wielding two daggers. “Just incase we need to protect ourselves.” She winked, then led Josh further down the corridor.

“Where did you get those?” He asked, careful to keep his voice at a whisper.

“From a guard.”

“Y-y-y-you killed him!? How could you!?”

“Shh! Quiet!” Cel threw her hand over the kid’s mouth, whispering “I just knocked him out. Now keep quiet unless you wanna get caught again, ok?”

He nodded, and she removed her hand.

“Now come on.” She smiled, once again she led the way, with Joshua right at her heels.

Luckily for them there were few guards along the way, and any they came across Cel quickly and easily dealt with.

It wasn’t long after when Cel stopped dead in her tracks, raising her arm to stop Joshua as well.

“Wha-”

“It’s him. He’s just past here.” She turned to face him, “I have a plan, but I’m gonna need your help.”

“S-sure.” The blond stuttered, clearly nervous. While he was more than willing to help, there really wasn’t much he could do. “. . What do you want me to do.”

“Well, I’m sorry to ask this, but I need a distraction.”

“What?!!”

“I promise that nothing will happen to you. Please. I need you to trust me on this.”

“…ok. I trust you. B-but what should I do?”

“This’ll work fine.” And with that, she shoved him hard into the next room.

“What the-? How did you get out!?”

                                                     ~*~

“I take it back, Pantaloons, you did know where you were going!”

“Matthew! Please be quiet! Are you trying to give us away!” Once they quieted down, a voice could be heard in the distance. “That’s Stalanos! Let us hurry, but quietly!”

“Yeah, yeah. Come on!” And with that Matt was off, the Prince doing his best to keep up.

They ran to where they heard his voice, and the Prince stopped right before entering the room, stopping Matthew with him. “We wait for the right moment to strike.”

“Yeah, whatever! Wait…what’s he doing? Is that!?” Ignoring the Prince’s plan, Matthew shoved his arm away and ran straight out into the open. “Joshua!!”

The blond turned his gaze away from the man that was approaching him, looking for the source of the voice. “Matthew!?”

Oh for the love of. . . . Since the Prince’s plan had already been ruined, he figured he might as well go as well. Hopefully I can still catch Stalanos off guard.

“Matthew! At least get yourself a weapon!” The Prince unsheathed his rapier, ready to charge at the wizard.

Matthew looked around at his options. There were weapons placed everywhere- convenient!- spears, various swords, a few axes. Perfect.

“Ok! I’ve seen this in a movie once!!” The brunette grabbed the bucket of water, splashing the contents onto Stalanos.

“What the hell was that supposed to do!?” The Prince shouted, finally losing his patience with the younger.  “You made him wet! Congratulations!”

“Hehe…oops!” Not sure what to do next, he threw the now empty bucket at the wizard, and rushed over to Josh’s side.

“You ok!”

“Y-yeah!”

Before another word could be said, a figure dropped from high out of the shadows, landing right beside the villain. Without any warning, a dagger was sent through his stomach, and he immediately crumpled to the ground. The Prince and Matthew wide-eyed, while Josh shut his eyes tightly.

“Celena! You’re alright!” The Prince rushed to her side. “I’ve come to rescue you!”

“Yeah, cause I need your help.” She knelt before the body and removed a talisman from around his neck.

Matthew laughed. “Haha! Your Princess really does look like Joshua!”

“Excuse me?! I am not his Princess!!” She glared at the brunette. “And just who the hell are you!?”

“Celena? That’s a pretty name!” Josh beamed. “This is Matthew! The one I was telling you about!!”

“Joshie, please, Cel is fine. And Matthew, what the hell are you doing with this loser?

“Celena my love! He helped with the rescue-”

“What rescue!? What exactly is it that you think you did!!?”

“I’m not really seeing the love here. Is she really your Princess?” Matthew looked from one to the other, waiting for either to respond.

“Yes!” And at the same time-

“No way!”

“Umm…I don’t get it.” Joshua cocked his head slightly, confused beyond a doubt.

“She is my fiance.”

“Not by choice!”

“B-but I came to rescue you! Surely you have developed feelings for me now!”

She toyed with her short locks, obviously annoyed at the man before her. “I wasn’t captured! Well, not before I came here anyway.”

Percival was shocked, to say the least, to hear that. “You did what?”

Celena glared at her ‘fiance.’ “I came here on my own to take him down!”

“What could make you attempt such a stunt?” Percival asked Celena.

“Well for starters, I’m sick and tired of being treated like some dainty little damsel. Second, father said that he would grant any request of the man who brought back proof of the wizard’s demise. So I figure this means I’ll get the wish, and I’ll have him call off my engagement to you.”

“What? But I-”

“Sorry Percy, I’m not ready to marry yet.” Then, muttering under her breath, “And believe me, I can do better.”

“But-”

“Forget it!” She then turned to the boys. “So what do you two plan to do now? From what Joshie here told me, you aren’t from around here.”

“I dunno. Guess we’ll just hafta look for a way back.” Matthew replied, trying to ignore the protests coming from the Prince. “Something’s bound to turn up.”
“Yeah, about that. I think I can help.”

“Really?” Josh’s eyes widened. He didn’t think they find a way out so quick.

“Yep. We’ve got ourselves a wizard back at home. He dabbles in stuff like that, and it turns out he owes me a favor!” Her mouth widened into a grin, adding a wink.

“Yeah! Great!” Matthew beamed right back. “How far away is it?”

“Depends on how fast we travel, but it shouldn’t take more than a couple days.”

“Screw that! Goin’ for record time here!!” He grabbed the blond’s wrist and ran, the latter whining and stumbling along with him as he laughed.

Cel gave out a laugh herself, and ran to catch up with her new friends.

And they all lived happily ever after. . . except for Percival. No one likes him.